humility

hot, dusty and sticky-eyed
a fat impending doom
orders calm and stillness
like nothing is ever
to change.

like The Only
is a second following when
contact breaks,
a shiver.
but for now,
impending.
Expected.
Required.
Desired.
Distorted.
Deformed.
Disgustingly precious.

but of course, there are rules.
Like how to smile when i'm not smiling,
how to communicate a loss,
when have it all.

and of course, the cat's out of the bag now
and there is nothing new to profess
or maybe nothing left, anymore.
A relief and a constant
Constant,
and a struggle to keep
things simple
or more exciting
that they might have ever been
(before?)

Expectation of exceptions,
except for that of extraction.
Nobody saw that one coming.
A pure removal
sucked up by  proverbial 'powers'
and leaving behind the cover
which i thought was you for a second
but now understand
i was fooled.
I have looked at you in different light
all this time
and have coloured-in the parts
my eyes could not see
as blinded by my
perspective.

Musty, milky patterns
of grey on brown,
and a delirious appreciation
for a single isolated freckle
in your eye,
experienced as an island,
a home, all comforts, all meaning, all hope.