what's the point in avoiding?

here's to love. (that old chestnut)

strong. I'm rushing with a nervous energy. dizzy with bittersweetness. loved up so much I'm completely exposed to all the elements. having exceeded the anticipated wait for an attack. and now oddly confused it didn't happen. will it happen now? will it happen now, later than thought? or will it not. have I rightfully avoided badness or will it hit me when I'm not looking? so high on this i couldn't look back or care less. i want to go. keep going on. and let it be a surprise. it will be worth it. an abrupt ending is always deserving of love and affection. nurturing this placating fallacy. but end will be death. and death is so cliche. i know the concept, am bloody familiar with it, thank you very much. so- i can handle it, is all I'm saying. i give in whatever i have. there. you have it.