deserter

several well-thought out, premeditated steps away.
one hitting the ground sturdily
one following hastily, unsteady
one to take the body further away
one to help the body balance
one to shatter all negative thoughts
one to prove my independence
one to point the intended direction
one to cleanse the soul off fear
one to enjoy the freedom of movement
one to admit we're no longer near
one to establish a balance in rhythm
one to forget the chosen pace
one to dance to the replayed record
one to go with the sour face
one to the enemy
one to the company
one to the prostitute
fucking my destiny
one to the smell of home
one to the sense of hope
one to the bastard
who's forced me
to walk all the way
home

smoke

dissolving
i feel the tension ease
the pores of the skin expanding

muscles letting go
flesh falling off the bone
there's no sadness involved

being eaten
by licking flame
in vague circle patterns

wilting
crumbling
melting
decomposition of the bigger parts

the remaining pieces
now translucent
and vague

can no longer make out
what it used to be

memory has dissolved
with the spores of mould
that got cleaned up
by antibacterial on the j cloth